Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
