I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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