whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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