I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
