Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
