ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
