dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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