i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize