I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
