Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
