So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
