That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
