So drunk its hurt
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
