Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
