porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
should my penis look like a turkey
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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