just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
