Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
