If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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