i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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