Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
