Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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