Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
