i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
