she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize