Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize