don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
It was confusing and full of hummus
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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