can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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