dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize