out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
