I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
