This girl is more easily done than said...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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