Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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