So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
