his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
