Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
