so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
