So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
