I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
