I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
