You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
