Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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