tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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