Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
