Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
