3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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