I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
