On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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