Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
