It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
