Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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