3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize