Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
