tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
