I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Randomize
