My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
