it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
