yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
