I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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