I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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